


white bones And grey words

by vindivher



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, GinHijiGin, Gintama Be forever Yorozuya, i need to stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4219056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vindivher/pseuds/vindivher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Hijikata, the white curse wasn't a curse. It let him see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	white bones And grey words

When had he started looking more for the ground than the sky? Wasn’t it human nature to want more than they deserved so why did he no longer look to the sky that humans were supposed to want more than anything?

He looked to the earth where he lay and phosphenes pooled at the rim of his eyes. There was also blood, the color that stained him and tainted him beyond repair until he could no longer bear to touch Gintoki with his filthy body.

 He had come to Gintoki seeking answers to his loneliness and the ever-growing cold that carved grey words into his bones. And in place of the shitstorm of a Samurai was a grey stone marked with empty words of death and a name that meant nothing without a heartbeat of silver.

The wind passed over his body and the world forgot his presence. For a while, he was a shadow cast by the winter sun with lashes frozen, cold and white, until warm tears dropped onto his eyes from above and melted the state of frozen time and he was no longer invisible, but seen by the golden eyes of nature and deemed a flaw in its perfect painting.

Gintoki pressed his lips to the corner of his mouth and for a moment, everything was okay and they were younger (they weren’t young, they were never young, but they had been _younger,_ at some point) and he tried to recall the name of the flower that grew from the blood of men but the white curse morphed his vision and he saw all he regretted instead of a pretty flower. He didn’t want his last thoughts to be about everything he regretted about his life including his existence, but the smell of blood constantly reminded him he existed and so inevitability, the end and how he would one day, also, return to the earth. Eventually, stupid flowers would twist around his bones and ashes would replace his name. While he lay on Gintoki’s grave, and a dead man comforted him, death was all he could think about. He kept his eyes closed and let nature take back what she rightfully owned and memories became irrelevant.

Seconds faded into minutes, and minutes became hours before he woke up in the destroyed town he had grown to love and hate at the same time. Flora flourished in the glow of the red sun and Hijikata shut his eyes against the color he never wanted to see again.

He had the same recurring dreams of Gintoki touching his cheek while he lay with the white curse destroying him and possible hypothermia before he woke up in the dystopian town that once bustled with angry life. A town that contained his happiness, especially in the sun that stayed at his back and the ground that became his salvation while he tainted himself more, more, more with blood and death. And of course Sakata Gintoki, the man who he had revolved his life around because he had found someone he could live for. But, he could no longer remember his face, and let alone the sound of his annoying voice that was more often than not, screaming profanities, and he is left wondering, had Gintoki loved him at all or was he a convenient escape from his scarring past? He wouldn’t have minded either way.

And he knows he is too dirty and stained with filthy red to be worth something but humans want more than they deserve and Gintoki is that something he doesn’t deserve.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh this was set during the whole last chapter blah blah be forever yorozuya thing after Ginny disappeared.  
> I really need to stop doing stupid pointless angst but oh well. Also sorry for the possibly horrendous amount of grammatical errors. Thanks for reading mwahhhh!!


End file.
